Part 1:
Paper #1: "Leader Creon"
The sentence pattern that I noticed the most that this student was using was "compound sentences." In addition the student also had great usage of different lengths of these compound sentences. For example the student wrote "I would like to apologize for my actions and I would like to make it up to her by giving her a home and a special spot at the throne by my side." This was a very long compound sentence, compared to the following short compound sentence: "This shall be a special wedding and I will like to honor them." I believe that this is what the student is trying to experiment in terms of writing. I believe the student is trying to get away from only using simple sentences. Overall, I would say that this student is at the beginning stages of convention understanding. With some work on their punctuation's and sentence flow this could be a great paper.
Paper #2: "Antigone"
This paper had a great variety of sentence structures and even played with question usage throughout the paper. I believe that this student was playing with the questionnaire sentences because it was a popular convention. For example he used it back-to-back at one: "I am suppose to be stuck in this cave so that the Gods can save me but what is the point in dragging out my death? Why should I suffer when all I wanted to do was help?" The student did a great job in using both compound and simple sentences to have a good flow, making it a easy and enjoyable read. Overall, I believe that this student has pretty good convention knowledge. I believe that with some work on punctuation use (commas, quotations, etc.) that this paper would be excellent. However, I also think that this student is ready for complex sentences and more advanced material to take their writing to the next level.
Paper #3: "Haemon"
This paper was one that had lots of good things going for it. It had a good variety of compound and simple sentences. I was most impressed with the flow of the content and how it was easy to follow. I noticed that for sentence patterns that this student was compound sentence heavy. The reason being is because I believe that they are trying to get all of their thoughts out in one sentence. However, at one point they did a great job using the short,simple sentence to make a great statement. "Though this is not right." This was my favorite line of the entire paper. It was powerful and was a good change compared to the other sentences. I believe that this student has a good start of knowledge when it comes to conventions. I believe that they just need to practice more and try out new strategies. Based off of this, I also believe that the student was playing around with the questionnaire sentence. In this paper there was a spot where they should have put a question mark but didn't. Example: "Is it right to argue with a prophet who says that the Gods are angry with his law." Overall, I believe the student has a great start and with more guidance and practice will create some fine pieces of work.
Part 2:
I have no real concerning questions about these papers, I really wasn't a fan of how the teacher marked on my first paper, because it made it more difficult for me to edit and read. For this class I would like to work with them on punctuation's mainly. I believe in teaching these kids how to properly insert commas and quotes (mainly) that it would make a huge difference in their writing. In addition I would work with them on sentence variety. Letting them know that it is still okay to use simple sentences. I believe they were all using compound sentences to frequently, but that could have been their objective the whole time. Overall, I believe that this class has a good start and with a little more guidance could be turning these papers into the next level.
Part 3:
The two patterns of the week I would like to focus on are as followed: Acronyms and Oxymoron's. The reason in which I would like to work on these is because I believe these are two overlooked tools of writing and can be effective in spicing it up and making it unique.
The first pattern I will be working on is the acronym. The following piece is a copy and pasted Social Media conversation. The reason in which I chose this is because social media is part of our everyday lives now and this shows how grammar tools are included even in informal settings. "OMG that was the longest day ever." (Oh my god) "Yeah I know thank god its over, btw (by the way) I really miss you." "I miss you more....ttyl" (talk to you later) [Acronym] This is how acronyms are used informally, but in reality these are used for our government, formal speeches and everyday life. Another example is the term SEAL: which stands for the Navy's sea, air, land team.
The second pattern that I will work on is oxymoron. I've chosen a few sentences from a few pieces of my work that show this pattern is used in academic writing. "The L.A. streets were organized chaos." (Chris Richardson, Representing the Hood.) [Oxymoron] "The woman look extraordinarily weird." [Oxymoron] These are two examples of how it can be used. It can also be used it lots of different ways as well.
I chose these two patterns because I believe that they will make peoples writing more fun, enthusiastic and overall better. Different pattern types such as these may seem informal, but can be a powerful tool in changing cliche writing.
